did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
