so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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