Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
