I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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