Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
