if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
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