There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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