If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
