How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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