he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
