Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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