So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize