Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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