Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
