Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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