What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
