Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
