physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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