and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
