Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We're too hungover to prance.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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