I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
