there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
