Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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