Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
