After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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