I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
