Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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