I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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