I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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