Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
