I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize