dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
