its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
