My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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