Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
