She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
