We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.