You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage