you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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