He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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