She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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