he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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