if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
