I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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