I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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