Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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