i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
