What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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