I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
