remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
