did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
