the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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