You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize