Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
