We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
