every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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