apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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