That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
