your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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