don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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