Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
