Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
